Solcana blog

THE ACCIDENTAL AMBASSADOR

By: Lauren Anderson

The Olympics have been on, and like many of you, I’m watching and cheering and crying. Happy for the chance to see amazing feats of strength, and years of hard work come to fruition.

And maybe they’re just there to get the farthest throw or the fastest run, but these athletes start to represent so much more. Their countries. Their race. Their gender. Their dedication. The universal human condition to struggle and overcome.

They become ambassadors. Representing something bigger than their accomplishments, regardless if they took home a medal. To be an Olympian is to BE something. And I happen to think it’s wonderful.

Well I am not an Olympian, and never will be. Don’t worry, I’m fine. It’s FINE. I came to terms with it years ago. (sigh.) But lately, I have been feeling like an accidental ambassador, and it’s making me so happy I could just shot-put right in my spandex pants.

If you would have told me months ago, that I would be a person people want to talk to about exercise and eating food for maximum awesome-ocity, I would’ve laughed you out of the room. These things just didn’t apply to me! I knew nothing! I was sedentary. I was eating for volume, and most of the time feeling guilty as hell about it. I was a mess.

But then everything changed.

If you’ve been following along this blog, it’s no secret anymore how tricky and scary and complex my relationship with my body is. In the past when I’d try to get to the bottom of ALL of it, I would do it in secret. I would do it by myself. And it never worked.

But Coach Hannah challenged me to try it a new way, to get it out in the open. To let people help me, and hear me. I was so hesitant. But I couldn’t be more grateful.

Well, I took her challenge. And I got open. Sometimes I can’t believe how open I’ve been. I go back occasionally and re-read some blogs from the past, and I’m like, “HOLY MOLY Anderson! I can’t believe you just wrote how you were actually feeling.”

In terms of openness, it’s like I went from wearing a parka in a deep dark hole, to naked flag-dancing on the sidewalk. Yeah– JUST. THAT. OPEN.

But the day I decided to open up– and I mean REALLY open up– about my relationship with my body and working out, I started to put that relationship first. That is the day my body stopped working against me, and we started working together. Like a team.

All these years, I feel like my body has been chasing after me. Trying to get noticed. Trying to hand off the baton, but I just refused to be part of the relay. When you neglect something, whether it’s a plant, a pet, or hardwood floors– they inevitably act out to get noticed. They start to show their neglect. And my body was no exception.

Thankfully, after being at Solcana just this short amount of time, and writing this blog, I no longer feel like my body is out to get me. I feel like we’ve finally become friends.

Sometimes I feel so sorry I didn’t pay better attention to her all those years. But I try not to dwell on that. I try to stay present and move forward. Because it doesn’t do me any good to punish myself for time wasted. When I could be right here with my body. Right now. In this new and happy space.

And now I’m crying as I type this.

I didn’t think it was possible to even HAVE a happy space with my body. Especially without needing my body to be perfect first. Or look and act a certain way. I certainly didn’t think I could stand in this space, with the body I have, and love it. And be proud of it. And enjoy it.

It’s sounds so small, but to any of you that have struggled to become friends with your own body, you know what a coup this is. It’s major. It’s an Olympian feat… or maybe it just feels like one.

The strangest part of all this, is it seems to be resonating with the people around me.

This last weekend I was at a theatre festival called The Fringe, and with a bunch of artists and friends. And yes, we talked about art, and comedy, and “did you see this show?” etc. But more than anything, people wanted to talk to me about my journey with my body. They wanted to know just what EXACTLY I was eating. And what it feels like to be SUPER STRONG.

But my favorite part of these conversations was how willing people were to open up about their own struggles with their bodies and their confidence. And in talking to people, I was able to see just where they were on their journey. And I was so thankful that they trusted me enough to share.

It reminded me of about 2 summers ago. When I ran into Coach Jenn at the same Fringe Festival. Back then she was still just my friend Jenn. And she had just started her own journey with Solcana. I remember talking to her, and grilling her on everything. I remember standing in awe of her, so proud. So inspired. And I remember tentatively disclosing parts of my own struggle. Right there, on the street, in front of Chipolte.

And now, this has been happening to me everywhere I go as well. Every time I run into someone. I am constantly surprised at how quickly we can go from a quick “So what have you been up to?” to the down deep, “I guess I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin” conversations in the middle of a Walgreen’s parking lot. What a joy it is to connect to friends and acquaintances in this new and intimate way.

It all comes full circle. In order to be truly strong, I first had to get truly vulnerable. Just like Coach Jenn did. Just like Coach Hannah urged.

I had to reach out and ask to hold hands with the ugly parts of myself. I thought it would isolate me. But it did just the opposite. Instead, I have never felt closer to people. By opening up, and getting vulnerable, I have never felt more at ease with myself. In fact, I have never felt stronger.

* * *

This last weekend, four different people told me they were signing up for the new Body Adapt program at Solcana, or the Essential You class. And they were bringing their mothers, sisters, and spouses.

Six separate people talked to me about a new exercise they were trying out. Whether it was walking, yoga, signing up to run a 5k, or asking me more about my gym. And what I loved about weight-lifting.

One person asked for tips on balance.

Two individuals asked to feel my biceps within one hour yesterday.

The other day, my friend called me to ask me what my favorite oils to use while cooking are. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL…

A month ago, my friend texted to tell me he wasn’t eating sugar for the week.  He was gonna TRY it. Just to see…

The whole time I’m answering their questions, I am encouraging, I am excited! But I am also giggling on the inside. I can’t believe folks are talking to ME of all people about fitness related stuff. That’s nuts!

Lauren Anderson. Accidental Ambassador for Fitness, Loving your body, and a CrossFit gym. Haha! Go figure. Life is so strange. Weird and wonderful. I guess sometimes life’s greatest lessons pop up in the most unlikely places. And take the strangest forms.

And just like my secret hopes of being cast as the next Indiana Jones, it’s a role I never thought I would play.

But it just might be my favorite one to date.