THE PIZZA PARDON
By: Lauren Anderson
So, last week my dear friends asked me over to their house for a dinner party. Being great friends, and lovely people just in general, they wanted to be compliant with my new way of eating. I know watching your sugar at a dinner party is no easy task… but my heart melted at their concern and care.
I get this text, “We were thinking Make Your Own Pizzas. Then we can all do our own!”
I reply, “Well, I’m still kinda off cheese and wheat…but I still wanna come over!”
And then I thought about it.
It’s been about 5 months since I had pizza proper. Like honest to goodness PIZZA that wasn’t made with cauliflower crust and no cheese (Don’t make that face. It was good!). Before changing my eating style, pizza had been a once-a-week staple (if not more…). Pizza was my late night go-to. My decadent dinner co-pilot. My One True Food North.
But not anymore. I had been avoiding it. BECAUSE I love it so much. You know when you love something and you can’t quite regulate yourself around it so you just end up avoiding it all together? Yeah. That was me and pizza. So, just like I cut off an ex in college that was too tempting, I cut pizza out entirely. Trying not to think about it longingly when I gazed up at the full moon.
And at first it was hard. Like really really hard. But time has this great way of giving you perspective, and as my new habits grew, my need for pizza dwindled. I attribute most of my success to actually attempting to cook. I no longer needed pizza as a quick and easy meal, because I was getting better and faster at making other things quickly and easily.
But there was still this dinner party…
I mean, it’s been so long since I’ve eaten it. Maybe I should practice looping it back into my life? Like Lucia (The Solcana Wellness Guru-trition) encourages us to be food detectives. Try something and see how your body responds. Then you can decide if it’s something you want to eat all the time, occasionally, or avoid all together.
I immediately text back. “But you know what? Let’s do it! It’s been awhile, and It’ll be a culinary adventure! And it’s time I did some practice re-intros. What can I bring?”
When I arrive, my hosts have the fixings all spread out. They’ve got cheese options and olives and my bud is grilling up some chicken. The crust is a gluten-free flatbread thingy that is made with organic flax and the farts of nutrition fairies. I mean, if I wanted to pick a place to try pizza again, I hit the jackpot at this house. Fortunately, these are my most co-op shoppin-est friends. So everything is fresh and fancy, and there is no hidden sugar lurking in the sauce.
The house smelled like heaven when they came out of the oven. I put on sugar-free tomato sauce, ricotta cheese and some mozzarella. Grilled chicken, mushrooms, and olives. And in a strange turn of events, I decided to pile a heap of arugula on top of my pie. Something I would’ve NEVER done before. Usually I am somewhat of a pizza purest. I don’t like that fancy/weird stuff on my ‘za. Give me some pepperoni or sausage and leave me to it! But not anymore apparently.
I have to admit, I was giddy. It was like, “Am I really doing this?!” I was so excited to eat some cheese. I was so stoked at the thought of pizza! But I was even more excited that besides the flatbread, and the cheese, everything else I put on my pizza was totally challenge compliant! So even though it was off, it wasn’t that far off.
I got so excited at the thought of pizza, that it reminded me of when we were little kids. And we would get this excited for pizza, because it was a once-in-a-while meal. It was special. It was fun! And it got me thinking, that this is how pizza is supposed to feel. I had been eating it so often, and so much of it, that it no longer made me excited. And that’s no way to treat something as fantastic as pizza!
So in a strange way, by removing pizza from my life for awhile, it actually gave it back to me ten-fold. Because now it was special again. I was excited again.
We sat down to eat, and it was delicious! I had no regrets! No guilt! Only enjoyment. Even though I was eating pizza. It wasn’t mindless. It was a thoughtful meal, created with love and intention. And I know I am probably putting way too much on it, but it felt like I had turned a huge corner.
We top off the meal with the dessert I was in charge of bringing. I opted for berry bowls with some activated Kefir (yogurt). It was a challenge-friendly version of berries and cream. And it was delicious. The grocery store had strawberries as big as my palm! The blackest blackberries! And raspberries and blueberries at the beginning of their season when they are actually somewhat affordable, and the chances of you being mouth-zinged with a tart one are rare.
It was a good night. Good friends, good conversation, lots of laughs, and PIZZA!
You can’t ask for much more than that.
So what have you learned Anderson? Or did you just write this blog to make us all hungry?
Well, firstly, I learned that having special eating needs can be difficult to maneuver when eating out, but it really helps to have friends who are supportive and enthusiastic. And who ask questions and help you anyway they can. This is a true blessing.
Secondly, before I think I was mis-treating pizza. It was something I would just grab at. For comfort. For easiness. Without much thought. But tonight? No NO! An incredible amount of thought went into this pizza, and I could taste it. Now do I want to think this hard EVERY time I eat pizza? Well, no. But each time will get easier to weigh my options and decide if the mood and the night is special enough for pizza.
And lastly, I realized that if I had been “dieting” like society keeps telling us to do, this would’ve sucked. I would’ve felt terrible. Like I was doing something wrong. Or I was cheating. Or failing. But I am not dieting.
I am slowly… sometimes very very slowly… changing my relationship to food. And it’s working! I think differently now. Because I don’t want to feel guilty, wrong, sad anymore when I eat. Something we have to do in order to live should not make us feel terrible. I don’t want to feel like that about food. And guess what?
I DON’T HAVE TO.
I never have to feel yucky about food again. And it is glorious.
***
Sound good? Wanna give it a try? Well take 12 days and do the DESTRESS QUEST with me!
Here are the Deets:
WHAT: A 12 day mini-challenge incorporating 4 major aspects of health.
- Food quality and Water consumption
- Sleep quantity and quality
- Stress Management techniques
- Physical Movement strategies
WHEN: June 5th- June 12th
WHERE: Solcana CrossFit Wellness Center/ but mostly on-line
HOW MUCH: 24 bucks for Solcana members, 30 bucks for everyone else
WHO: Each person gets a buddy to help them stay focused and on track! You can bring your own, or get paired up randomly! (Friend-making at it’s easiest.) Maybe we’ll even get to be partners!
WHY: Working on my relationship to my body is important. It’s meant so much knowing why my body does what it does, and needs what it needs, has made me happier and easier to be around. It’s made me more forgiving of myself and others, and more understanding of how complex my body really is, and how hard it tries to help me! And who doesn’t want more of that in their lives?!
SIGN UP FOR IT RIGHT HERE: http://solcanafitness.com/the-destress-quest-june-5th-june-16th/