Solcana blog

SIT-UP AND TAKE NOTICE

By: Lauren Anderson

Years ago when I was going through a huge breakup with a boyfriend, I experienced what could only be described as a major “transition” period. I read books, took classes, got life-coaching. The whole cliché she-bang.

And in between my more proactive maneuvering, I would eat entire buckets of fried chicken and drink entire buckets of whiskey. Which inevitably led to a series of regrettable hair colors and regrettable hook-ups. Sound familiar? Just me?

Because breakups are hard right?! They suck. And even if it’s for the best, it still takes a toll on you. Everything you knew to be true, suddenly changes. In a blink of an eye. A slamming of a door. A dissolving of a lease.

Then you find yourself back at it, and the day-to-day can seem overwhelming. Will I ever feel normal again? I guess I don’t need to make the phone call that once felt so ritual…. It forces you to sit up and take notice of your life. But how do I make such a great change?

That’s where the books and the classes came in. I’d convinced myself that if I was being forced to change, it’ll be for the better!!! But some days still felt downright hopeless. Those are the days when only the buckets of chicken and whiskey will do…

So, it probably goes without saying that during the breakup, I spent some time unashamedly browsing the self-help sections at my local book-ery. When I landed on a book called “CHANGE OR DIE” by Alan Deutschman, I thought I had finally stumbled across the answer IN ALL CAPS. I was going to change dammit, or die trying!

Yes Yes Yes! This is EXACTLY what mama needs. Some tough love from a German-sounding-last-name-science-guy. Teach me to change Alan! Tell me I can!

Well he didn’t. The book is a bunch of good, quick case studies of people who have to make great changes or they will, like the title threatens, DIE. Everyone from heart attack survivors to inmates.

But what he concluded, is that change is tough. And unless you work very, very hard to stick to your change, people will inevitably go back to what they’ve always done. Even if their life is on the line. UGH. Thanks for nothing science-guy.

Some of my friends loved teasing me about this book. “You don’t need this crap Lauren, you just need to move on. Get out there.” Oh really? Like it’s juuust that simple! But how? HOW?! How do I date again without making the same mistakes I did last time? How do I change, when even science guys that write science books tell me that it’s scientifically improbable?!

Thankfully, my Life Coach at the time gave me an analogy that offered a little more perspective on change. She said:

“Habits are like walking through a forest. If you go the same way enough times, it creates a path. A groove in the earth. A clearing in the trees. Every time you walk in that direction, it gets easier and easier. After awhile, you don’t even need to think about it because the route is laid out for you. To change your habit, you need to start a new path. And follow it enough times that the old one no longer is necessary, or ideal. But this is hard. Because it’s way easier to walk down a clear path then machete your way through another spot in the forest.”

But I guess my Life Coach was onto something, because apparently, your brain actually creates short-cuts, or pathways, to help you do things. So you don’t have to spend so much brain power every time you attempt a task. The more you practice a habit, the wider the pathway becomes. Like that trail in a forest. And you can teach your brain to create a new pathway. But again, you have to work very, very hard to do it.

All this, just to get over a breakup, from a guy that was never meant to be in the first place. So what happens when I attempt to change a life-long love/hate relationship with exercise?

Well ding ding ding! You guessed correct! It’s probably gonna be EVEN HARDER.

In the past, every time I was going to “Workout!” or “Get Active!” I would make radical, sweeping changes, do it all-or-nothing for a couple weeks, and then eventually I’d slip back into my old pathways. Nothing would stick. Nothing would last…

Until recently.

It’s been about 3 and 1/2 months since I started Solcana. The longest I’ve ever stuck with a consecutive workout program in my LIFE. Seriously!

The very first blog post I wrote, I talked about doing sit-ups. My nemesis. Or rather, crying on my living room floor when I discovered that I couldn’t even do a single one. And although the idea of a person like me joining a CrossFit gym seemed radical, it hasn’t been a sweeping, all-or-nothing change. It’s been gradual. It’s been different from anything else I’ve tried before.

They started me slow. Coming once a week, doing one-on-one sessions. The coaches wanted me to be successful. Soon I was ready to join a class. Then 2 a week, then 3. Following the wise words of my sister, “Do what you can, until you can do more. Then do more.” (See Week 1 Blog.)

Turns out, that all-or-nothing approach of my past was a recipe for failure. There was no room for growth, or for error. There was no space for forgiveness. No plan, no patience, and no support had me running back to my previous path quicker than you can say, “Do you want napkins with your chicken bucket?”

But at Solcana, each and every class I try something new, and I’m pushed to some degree, and it’s so good to be in that spot. To consistently be challenged and achieve. To meet failure and survive it. To discover the hidden ability I have lying dormant inside of me.

Each class I am encouraged to greet my fears with a brave spirit. And I am celebrated and acknowledged for it by my peers. And week by glorious week, I’ve seen changes that I didn’t think were possible.

So last Thursday, I’m doing a partner workout with Meghan. She is supportive and enthusiastic and a true joy to work out with. Coach Hannah announces that we’ll be doing these medicine ball sit-up thingys. Meghan would do a sit-up with a medicine ball, hand it to me, and then I would do a sit-up, and hand it back to her. We’re s’posed to do 40 of them each. My eyes bulged.

“Um, what if I can’t do a full sit-up yet?” I ask. Nervous, suddenly terrified that I’m going to let my partner down. Coach Hannah gets down on the floor and shows me a few modifications I can try, and tells my partner to just keep the medicine ball for now. The sit-ups would be challenge enough for me today.

Meghan and I get into position. Her feet are on top of mine. She tries the sit-up, and does it perfectly. I lay back, expecting to struggle, but to my surprise, I don’t.

I SIT THE F UP.

Like, all the way up. From all the way down! My first real sit-up since I started CrossFit!!! Probably since college. The thing that seemed so far on the horizon was here and happening! I was defeating my nemesis! The whole class whooped with excitement. Meghan high fives me. Coach Hannah takes a video.

The video doesn’t look like much. But trust me, it was EVERYTHING. And then I did 40 more.

I’m not gonna lie. By the end, I was struggling. But I did it. They weren’t pretty, but they were mine. My partner high fives me again, and we give each other a sweaty hug. In that moment, I feel like Meghan, Coach Hannah, and the rest of the class picked up machetes and helped me clear a few more inches of the forest for my new path.

The smallness of doing a single sit-up, and the bigness of what it actually means, are not lost on me. It’s a little reminder that I CAN change, if I want to. No matter what some German-book-writing-science-guy says. That I can set a new course. It starts small, and it is very, very hard. It takes more patience and practice than I ever imagined. You work and work and work.

Until one day, you do a sit-up and really take notice.

The path has opened up and the course is clearer. I am on my way.

https://youtu.be/ONWfqguN5cU