THE CALMING NEON ORANGE ROPE By: Lauren Anderson When I was little, my parents brought us to Paul Bunyan Land in Northern Minnesota. We rode rides and watched dancing chickens and got our pictures taken with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox. Pretty much having the greatest time a kid could have at a kitschy Minnesotan theme park. And just when I thought the day couldn't...
SCREAMING FOR ICE IN MY VEINS By: Lauren Anderson There's this line in Paul Simon's song “You Can Call Me Al” that has always really resonated with me. The iconic 80's pop classic starts out with Paul Simon almost pleading to the universe: “Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?” Not only do I love the song and what it...
THANK YOU AND SHUT UP ABOUT MY FOOD By: Lauren Anderson HOMECOMING Thanksgiving is two days away, which means all my out-of-town friends are rolling back in. I love this time of year for that reason! But before they get swallowed up in the family and the holidays, I like to squeak out a little friend time first if I can. I get a text from my dear...
REMOVING THE WORD “JUST” By: Lauren Anderson The other day, I was at my good friend Ann's house hanging out and having a wonderful Sunday. I had a text I needed to reply to, and I wanted my response to sound good, so I showed her the draft before I hit send. You know, like you do sometimes with friends. Most of the time I pride myself on...
SUPER VISION REQUIRED By: Lauren Anderson A few years ago, I was staying at a nice hotel while on a business trip. I had a few hours to kill before our clients needed us to be in the ballroom to get the kick off party started, so I decided to walk around the campus of the luxury Florida hotel. I like to get the lay of the land you...
NIGHTMARE ON MY STREET By: Lauren Anderson Forgive me if I sound a little different today, but my entire reality has been altered, and I don't know what's what anymore. You know, no bigs. Also, I miiiight sound different because I just had 1,000 birds of prey fly outta my mouth. Oop! And almost forgot! I've been running for my life down dark alleyways for the past three nights. “What's...
TOO MUCH VERSUS NOT ENOUGH By: Lauren Anderson About a month or so ago I was at the gym, and we were working on back squats. I don't know if it was the day or what, but it was one of those workouts where I was just happy I made it there at all. I found myself really taking it kinda easy. It felt good to be there...
YOU CAN'T RUSH A BUTTERFLY OR A BEAUTIFUL DEATH By: Lauren Anderson Last week my grandmother passed away. And yesterday was her funeral. The day was as hard as you can imagine, but then the sun came out. And I couldn't help but think, “This is a beautiful day. Grandma would've liked this.” The family was sad, and we will miss her dearly, but it also felt so...
DRY RICE ON THE FLOOR By: Lauren Anderson My older sister is an excellent driver. She was that classic teenager that went and took her driving test on her 16th birthday and passed on the first try. And it didn't take long before she had her own car, much to our mom's trepidation. There was no, “Can I borrow the car?” from my sister. Oh no no. Besides, my...
IF YOU'RE FEELING NERVOUS By: Lauren Anderson Two days ago I woke up with a mouth full of blood. Do I have your attention? If I ever write a mystery novel... I'm yoinking that line from this blog and using it again! Yup. My alarm went off at the same respectable time it always does for a person that works mostly at night-- and when I turned over to put...
CHANGE HIT ME LIKE A MACRO TRUCK By: Lauren Anderson Lately I've been feeling stuck. Stagnant. Wanting that extra something to happen or occur or manifest. Ya know? I think the beginning of fall is always ripe for feelings like this. It's a transitional season, much like spring, so inevitably it also feels like the perfect time for something to CHANGE. Because the weather is, so I might...
CROWN ON THE GROUND By: Lauren Anderson Yesterday I was eating lunch and reading an article that came out in an old New Yorker about Tiffany Haddish, when I heard a CRACK, and out plopped the crown of my tooth silently onto the floor. Just like that. I wasn't even eating anything crazy either. Just some leftover Lo Mien from the night before. Ya know, like you you do...
MULCH MUSCLE By: Lauren Anderson Labor Day weekend for me is a time to hang out and have a good time, but I always like to throw in a little bit of “work” for balance. I mean, if nothing else it is my small way of honoring all the labor workers that make the world go round. But let's not get too far up my own butt here....
HELLO FEAR, I LIVE HERE NOW By: Lauren Anderson In my group of friends, I am rather notorious for asking “What if” questions. Like, “What if every time you walked up the stairs a part of your body turned purple? But only for 24 hours.” Or “What if when you peeled back the skin on my arm, you found out I was made entirely of Rice Crispy treats?”...
BIG, EASY, UNLIKELY INSPIRATION By: Lauren Anderson Inspiration can come from the most unlikely places. I've even got an embarrassing example for you. This weekend I was undone by a terrible case of food poisoning. It was...unfortunate. Luckily I made it through the worst, but Sunday left me recovering and trying to keep crackers down. I kept falling in and out of sleep all day, exhausted from dehydration...
ICE BATH FOR THE SOUL. By: Lauren Anderson It's no surprise that I run hot. I know I've probably talked about it like, a bajillion times. But I'm not kidding. Just under my skin, I feel like the inside of a dragon's mouth. Roiling and turning, panting and churning, just waiting for the next fire to erupt. Which is not to say that I'm always angry or upset, or...
A LETTER TO FRENCH FRIES By: Lauren Anderson The last week, I've found myself deep in the throws of one of the nation's largest Fringe Festivals. If you're not aware of what a Fringe Festival is, it could generally be described as a festival for theatre celebrating new and often brave work, that may not get produced in a normal theatre season. In other words-- FRINGE. I am performing in...
HOPE IS DANGEROUS By: Lauren Anderson It's dangerous to think that something I want very badly could actually be had, and that things will work out for the best and in my favor... and yet, I find myself doing it all the time. It's dangerous to look forward to something or someone with desire and reasonable confidence... and here I go doing it again. It's dangerous to let myself...
IN PELVIC THRUST WE TRUST By: Lauren Anderson A few days ago, while the rest of the world was sleeping, I was up-all-night per usual laughing and crying along with some classic elephant videos on the internet. (If you don't know by now, I have a deep and lifelong love of elephants. So this is a VERY common thing that happens to me.) The videos are all...
IF IT AIN'T BROKE... By: Lauren Anderson This past week I had the um, how should I say this--unique--opportunity to bring my car to the shop not once, but TWICE. For the same reason. So basically, I spent all week fretting and then trying not to, creatively moving finances around, and securing rides from A to B from kind-hearted individuals. On top of the normal stuff that makes...
VULNERABILITY IN THE HIPS By: Lauren Anderson So, last week I got to go see one of my favorite artists, Janelle Monae, live in concert. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. The whole place shook with excitement and energy. And it was so loud, the venue was practically vibrating. The album she is touring is particularly potent because it marks a new level in...
THE WEIGHTLIFTER, THE DRUNK, AND THE GOOD SAMARITAN By: Lauren Anderson I seem to be walking into a lot of parables lately. Or perhaps the situations I'm finding myself in are more like the beginning of a lame joke your “hilarious” co-worker might attempt at a mandatory happy hour. Let me explain... Saturday was a big day for me. To put it more accurately, Saturday was the culmination of a...
SHAME CORKSCREW AND A FAIRY DRAGMOTHER By: Lauren Anderson Ever had those days/ weeks/ months/ moments in your life where you feel like you just keep falling short? Like no matter what you try and no matter how hard you attempt to show up for something, you just can't seem to hit the mark? Yeah... me neither. I'm perfect and this never happens. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Whew! Excuse me, but I needed...
TENNIS ANYONE? By: Lauren Anderson So a few months ago, my dear friend Heather started a little group called “Terrible Tennis”. In her youth, she was a state tennis champion, but hadn't played in years. And she wanted a fun way to do something different to hang out with pals besides the typical “go to a bar/movie/restaurant”. She wanted to get back to her love of the game,...
STRANGE SEX NOISES WITH TAJ, BEN, and JENN By: Lauren Anderson Okay, first off... the title of today's post is making me giggle. Mostly, because it's perhaps the click-bait-i-est title I've ever endeavored to drop. But when I sat down to write this blog post, I kept remembering all the grunts and groans Taj, Ben, Jenn and I made during our last work out, and how much it...
FEAR OF TIPPING BACK By: Lauren Anderson On this journey to Body Love and Acceptance there are bound to be some detours along the way. I mean that's to be expected right? I just wish these so-called detours were more fun. Like an actual road trip! You know, cause some detours are marvelous, and absolutely MAKE the day. Like pulling over and collecting wild blueberries on the side of the...
A FAMILY AFFAIR: GYM FEELS EDITION By: Lauren Anderson A few weeks after my older sister Marnna came to do a workout with me, (See blog post: Iron Martha and Iron Marnna) I got a text message from my younger sister, Abby. “Hey Lauren! I read the blog about you and Marnna at Solcana Fitness and WOW what a blog. You two are awesome. So with that said,...
STANDING ON THE SHOULDERS OF GIANTS By: Lauren Anderson This weekend marked a big anniversary for me. When I'm not performing downtown at The Brave New Workshop, or slinging weights at the gym (yes!), I am in an improv group named Five Man Job. We produce the Twin Cities Improv Festival here in Minnesota (now in it's 12th year!), and we are also the founders of a little...
HATE HIDDEN BY A SUMMER SWEATER By: Lauren Anderson So I was hanging out with a good friend the other day, and I complimented her on the pretty summer sweater she was wearing. “I like this coral summer sweater. It looks great on you.” For those of you that don't know what a summer sweater is-- think regular sweater, but lighter weight with more space between the weaving. Basically,...
LOW-GRADE PANIC FOR DAYS By: Lauren Anderson Sometime last Thursday afternoon, I stood up to go to work, and I wobbled. I clutched my chest and sat back down. And honestly, it took until Monday night for me to catch my breath. It felt like a small gremlin was standing on my chest. I couldn't take a full breath. My body felt jittery, and it started to feel...
